Oh how beautiful forgiveness is. Recently, I realized that I hadn't forgiven a certain friend in my life. It was a huge slap in the face. How could I get to a point where I fostered unkind feelings towards a friend who I love? I let these feelings fester inside. Every time I thought of her, a negative emotion was intricately intertwined to her.Instead of discovering why I was hurt, I sat there and criticized in my heart or out loud, acting as though I had the right to criticize. But really, who has the right to be unkind or criticize? Who has the right to act as though they fully understand the intentions of another's heart? I know I don't and yet I acted as though I did. I have no right to hold angry feelings.
Change of Heart
Recognizing the cruelty of my heart, I pondered why I felt so upset and unforgiving. Thoughts started pouring into my mind. Instead of focusing on how she hurt me, I recognized how she helped me become a better person. I remembered the fun times and the moments where we had to rely on each other for strength. The big picture started unraveling, I was hurt because it didn't matter how hard I tried to be kind, it still felt as though I did something wrong. No matter how hard I tried to be a good friend, I was met with coldness.
The negative, hurt feelings melted away as I filled them with happy memories. My heart began to fill with gratefulness for the time we spent together. Yes, she hurt me. Who knows, maybe I didn't show kindness when I should have, and maybe I said something that was offensive without knowing. I'm rough around the edges and sometimes those edges cut unknowingly.
How terrible I felt if I wronged her.
I've decided that I need to go through my life and figure out who I haven't forgiven. If I foster any unkind feeling towards a person, I need to face the negative emotion, accept it, and change the negative thought to positive ones, and lastly forgive.
Forgiveness is liberating.
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